Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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