I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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