I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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