You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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