I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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