Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
is wine microwaveable?
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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