Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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