You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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