life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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