new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
