i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
