I didn't shave. On purpose
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize
