Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I think my moral compass just broke
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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