It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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