Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
