please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
