Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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