idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
