Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
id be glad to
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
