Whod you bang
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I'm sobbing to NWA
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
