you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
