is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
