How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
