but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
