I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
