just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
