My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
