i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Randomize
