____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
