I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
