apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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