Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
false alarm, still single
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
