Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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