omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
