if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
