apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I need to sanitize my soul.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
