a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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