There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
