mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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