I'm passing your future prison.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
