PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
