return my video game
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
