Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
YAS. BRING CRAB.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
