Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
