went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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