I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
