I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
pop tarts are not kleenex
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
