we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I could fuck to npr.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
