Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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