I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Boobs are out for the taking
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
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